Holy shit look at all this free VC we have.
You should probably use it to become a useful player.
And buy a Hawaiian shirt.
What? No, why would I?
Damn it.
Hey, kid, you’re doing okay except your free throws are terrible.
Lay off Beckett, coach.
He can’t hit free throws because he’s suffering from Multiple Dystrophy.
What? No, I–
Yeah, and there’s no cure for Multi D.
It’s not even a real–
I don’t know how long he has.
Oh boy…
Kid, you should have told me about your disease.
How did this not come up in the pre-draft interviews?
Your story is an amazing tale of American ingenuity and dedication.
About that “disease”, there’s something you should know.
Thaddeus says that it affects the nerves and the muscles.
The fact that you can play basketball at all is amazing, especially after healthcare reform.
You know, coach, Thaddeus says a lot of things that aren’t true.
Maybe given the media attention surrounding your disease, we should change things up.
Oh god there’s media attention now?
I was thinking I’d increase your playing time.
Oh, well, in that case…
Sam, what the hell were you thinking?
Are you really going to let this lie continue?
It’s gotten too big for me now.
And whose fault is that?
Thaddeus Young!
He’s a compulsive liar. He can’t help himself. But you…
I don’t know how else I’m going to get playing time.
So you’re going to pretend to have a disease that doesn’t exist?
This is going to end terribly, and you know it.
I only have to pretend until March 29, right? Then I leap out and–
And your son has to deal with the blowback of your terrible decision.
Because eventually people are going to find out.
I don’t want to mess things up for junior. But right now, I’m desperate.
We’re still not even sure what happens on March 29, Sam.
It’s a basketball game against the Pistons and Jackson Ellis. I’m pretty sure the 76ers have to win.
And I’m sure you’ve noticed that the 76ers are terrible.
The solution can’t be to lie about a terminal disease to get playing time!
I’m not lying. I’m just not correcting Thaddeus.
Oh, don’t get technical with me, Sam.
Al, I’m willing to do whatever it takes to bring this team together and win on March 29.
Anything, huh?
Oh God! My ankle!
Oh no, he knows about March 29!
Then you’re going to have to destroy him the next time you meet.
I know that March 29 is a long time away, but so far this season has been a disaster.
Hi, I am the head of scouting for the [insert team name here]
Then we gotta get you a suit!
With the eighth pick the Detroit Pistons select Jackson Ellis.
Good to see you, Sam.
The Redbird Menace 